The hardest question I've ever come across...

No. 2 is back!!! To me, the hardest question in my life has got to be: What do I want to be when I grow up? Over the past couple weeks, I have been really trying to force this one, and I really could use some outside opinions or stories. How did you end up where you are now? What situation or event sparked that decision for you? Were you still unsure about it or was it like a lightening revelation? How many of you really love what you do? As it happens to mostly everyone at some point in their life, I've been finding myself stuck in the same routine, the same exact environment, and with a complete lack of motivation or inspiration. In other words, I'm finding myself feeling like I'm in a slump and too lazy to do much about it. From talking to other people I know or just people I've talked to in the past, they have always said that if you find something that you love to do, it doesn't even feel like work. You're happy to get up in the morning, and feel a sense of accomplishment and wholeness. That is my main goal, but it also seems to be the hardest thing to figure out for yourself. How can you make a decision like that so easily? People will talk to me about it and throw a million ideas at me, but if it were that easy, I would have decided by now! I worry a lot that at some point in trying one thing, I will realize I don't like it, and then I'll feel like I just wasted so much time and money. I don't want to be one of those students who gets all the way through school, and then hates their field in the end. Someone asked me the other day what I was passionate about, and I could not think of ONE thing. Not ONE! I want to say it made me feel useless! Growing up, Momma always told us that you don't go into college knowing what you want to do (unless of course you have had that lightening revelation already), but you go into college to find out what's out there. I know college is a tedious process, but I really feel like I need a change in my direction at this point. Tedious or not, it seems to feel worse when you're questioning why you're even doing it. I've been going for a Bus. Mngmt degree for about 7 years now part time, and I really feel like I need to pursue another angle. Not one of the classes I've taken has seemed to inspire me. The only reason I chose that degree was because it was a general degree and my couselor needed to put SOMETHING on my records. Plus, it was also Dad's request. But not having a clue as to what that will get me outside of college has really been bothering me lately and it has been really affecting my motivation. It seems all of my motivation has been going towards my job, and that really shouldn't be my first priority. Not to mention, I don't really plan on being a waittress/bartender my whole life no matter how good or bad I am at it. I feel like I have more to offer than just beer and burgers. I'm sure this is a problem that most people my age experience at one point or another, but I figure that hearing other people's stories may open me up to more angles to examine, and help me feel like I'm not the only one that has this problem. Chicago Jen has been my main contact for conversing on this subject. Her situation has been a little different since she has gone full force in one or another direction in school, gotten to a certain point, and then seems to lose the passion she had in the beginning. She did finish school, but now wants to again pursue something completely different. At the same time, I feel like I'm ready for another change in my life. I miss the excitement I experienced when I move to Vegas and everything was new and different. I miss the traveling and the never knowing where life would take me next. I had forgotten how depressing this town could be. I'm hoping that whatever college I decide to transfer to, that I could live on campus and experience that type of lifestyle while I'm still young enough to do it. Life is, if nothing else, all about experiences, and I want to take in as much as I can. Not to mention I think that school would run a lot smoother for me if I was surrounded by people with the same goal. There is power in numbers, and I definitely want a part of that. Well, that's all my confessions for now. Let me know if you have any feedback or advice for me. I love talking to different people about stuff like this and learning what fields they were interested in. A decision like this, to me, is made better when you know all of your options. xoxo No. 2