Sunday, March 12, 2006

Worm Talk: So what am I doing in Detroit?

Bill Cosby (black comedian for those of you born yesterday) had a routine in his stand-up days wherein he had a conversation with God. I was reminded of this routine last evening because #1 and Mike went to the lake nearby and I said, "Buy me some worms while you're there!" It seems that worms come in different types (and I'm not even talking about the parasitic varieties). I didn't think to ask why #1 was questioned on her worm purchase, but she was told that the worms she bought were cold water worms (not to be confused with worms used for agricultural purposes...which is why *I* wanted worms). Instead of buying the 3 dozen I'd requested, she bought 2 dozen because Who Knew????? So, I put the worms in my garden and got to thinking about how they were cold water worms in an agricultural setting and how that was like a country bumpkin in the big city looking up at the tall buildings and how the other worms are gonna say things like, "You're not from around here, are you?" and that got me thinking of that conversation Bill Cosby had with God wherein God said, "I gave you that nappy hair so you could run through the jungle without your hair getting caught in the trees. I gave you that dark skin so you'd have protection from the hot African sun." To these statements, Bill Cosby replied, "So, God...what am I doing in Detroit?" These are the thoughts of someone who's just spent two hours (that I'll NEVER get back) googling "worm types".

12 comments:

Diane said...

If you ever get up this way, just stop on by and we'll dig you up some worm buddies. I saw a bazillion of them when I was out weeding the allia and transplanting the Egyptian walking onions the other day. Tons and tons and tons of them.

You guys get much out of the recent storms? We got slammed here.

No. 2 said...

There were some pretty nasty storms here lately, too. Kinda beautiful in a windy, symphony sort of way.

I never knew that there were cold weather vs. agricultural worms, either. I knew there were the littler ones vs. the big fat nightcrawler types. But its been awhile since I went digging for worms. I did try catching lizards when I was in Florida, but I think they knew I was coming since I didn't see many.

Th3Yungin said...

Speaking of worms, we just went downtown and saw a slew of them spread across the sidewalk. It seems kind of mal-adjusted to have a mini massacre every time it rains.

I've also always wondered how they get themselves onto the sidewalk. There has to be some lateral locomotion for them to get there, but why is there the drive to squirm your worm ass onto the concrete frying pan?

Oldnovice said...

"You guys get much out of the recent storms? We got slammed here.

We got NUTHIN! I don't think we ARE gonna get anything in the way of weather, either. That's why I've been confidently planting my garden in total disregard of the last freeze date. For MONTHS (or maybe it only seems like months), the weather people have said things like "Thunderstorms Wednesday followed by a cold front, yadda, yadda..." By Tuesday the forecast is "warm and sunny". Every. single. time.

Biggest problem we'll have this year is NO weather. Already a ban on watering in some areas around here. Square foot gardening method is MADE for situations like this, because the guy who thunk it up has us watering from a cup stuck into a bucket. In that way, you're in contact (up close and personal) with every plant every day...at least until they take off and need less watering.

About those worms, I can't say I understand cold water worms because as #3 so poetically pointed out, they'd prefer burning to drowning. Either way, though, removes their slime and they need slime, so they dig deeper in the hot weather or dig up in too much rain. The sidewalk worms are the equivalent of our Darwin Award Winners, not to mention that there's no such thing as cold water worms. <-- That's what ya get from a few hours of worm googling. Unearthed one of those fellers doing some soil creation and he sidewinded himself under the fence and into the neighbor's yard in an eyeblink. Don't think I'll see HIM fryin' anywhere around here. Worm buddies... hmmm...I'll see if Em's gotten over his fear of hanging. LOL.
BTW, are those onions gonna walk like Egyptians (or what do I do with them?)

I'm about done with the garden now. I still want to plant a jalapeno pepper and have a few more squash plants I'd like to grow, but I'm fearful of the plants mating with each other unless I dig a few more squares at the opposite end of the yard. Using the square foot method, however, I already have enough of a garden for 2.3 people and since I don't see anyone else out there fussing with it, it's prolly best to dial my aspiration meter to low/medium.

Th3Yungin said...

Prolly better to have a smaller, well-tended garden, to a larger, overgrown one.

Then again, you have time to work on it. I wish i could say that i would have the ethos to do it, but i'm just too lazy. Last garden i started ended up being a big patch of overturned soil, filled with weeds.

I'm suprised anything would last at all with the SuperSunshine you guys get down there. I figured that you would have some kind of shade for it...

Oldnovice said...

"Last garden i started ended up being a big patch of overturned soil, filled with weeds."

No. 2 doesn't remember, but I gardened when y'all were little and y'all had little sections where you planted whatever you wanted and took care of it yourself. In your case, the end result was the same then as now. Heh.

Too much sun IS a problem in some cases. Some of the varieties Diane sent are torture-resistant. I'm also hoping that planting around the perimeter of the yard will allow fence-shade at least a part of the day. If not, maybe jz1 can design some little umbrellas? LOL.

No. 2 said...

I DO remember our little gardens. I remember the chives mostly, though. We used to use them as food when we were playing "rabbits" or something. Other than that, I couldn't identify anything we planted except I do remember where MY section of the garden was.

Th3Yungin said...

I also remember where my spot was. I think it was in the middle, but i can picture it clearly.

I remember some green beans growing there. Maybe i should have just settled on spearmint. I hear that is pretty reslilent.

Oh, I also remember Clovers overgrowing it!

I'm getting better, I am now the proud owner of 4 houseplants, which aren't that close to dying at all...

No. 2 said...

I don't own any houseplants as of right now as my cats would eat them. I tried in Vegas. Unless I hang them from the ceiling, the cats will eat them.

Diane said...

No. 2, did you live in Vegas? I lived there for a couple of years back in the early-mid 90s. What a ride that was!

Egyptian walking onions--just stick 'em in the ground and stand back. Abuse them, call them bad names, make funny faces at them--they'll still grow and multiply. They are topsetting onions, meaning they'll produce bulbils on the top of one of their stalks. The weight of these bulbils will cause the stalk to fall over and promptly set up housekeeping where ever it lands. That will grow into another onion next year.(See where it get the "walking onion" name?) Another wildly successful method of reproduction it uses is dividing its underground bulbs into mulitiple ones. Where you plant one bulb/bulbil this year, you'll have about 2 million by next year. If you'd like to start a new crop somewhere or give some away to some poor, onionless sould, save some of the bulbils to plant or dig up and divide the bulbs to replant. You can use the "leaves" for green onions (that's what we love to do). You can dig up the bulbs for using like regular onions (but do know that they're not big honkers like you see in the store--they stay small). Many folks love to pickle the bulbils and even the bulbs.

Hmm, a familiar odor is coming from Nellie. Diaper duty calls.

No. 2 said...

Yes. I resided in the wonderful world of sin for 9 months. I absolutely loved it out there. The weather, the palm trees, and the glorious sun. I have every intention of heading back that direction when I'm done with school. IL is so depressing here with it's dreary days. Environment really does affect your mood. And oh how I miss the sun. I'd take 120 degrees over 40 degrees ANYDAY!

Diane said...

Me, too, on the 120 over 40! I lived in Hawaii for a couple of years, too. Oh, man, talk about perfect weather! Just being in that warm, perfect air made you healthy, happy, and one of the beautiful people. Well, except those few who pushed the limit a bit too far and wore a thong in public when they *really* should not have.